mixtape maestro (2.0)

Jordin Sparks’ girl-next-door charm and ambiguously safe musical influences made her an obvious winner for the last season of “American Idol”. It was what she was going to record on her own that would prove the most challenging. Be real, she’s as interesting as sawdust, and if Blake Lewis was to have actually won, Sparks’ career would have as instantaneously DOA as Diana DeGarmo’s (Who, you might ask? Exactly!). Her first post-”AI” entry, “Tattoo”, confirms her lack of distinctiveness, a decent, albeit forgettable, pop/ R&B/ country mush recipe that takes on elements of “Irreplaceable”, “Umbrella”, Hannah Montana and LeAnn Rimes in hopes of grabbing some sort of audience.

The instrumental intro is perhaps the best part: haunting synth lines spiked with tribal-like yelps. Then Jordin enters the picture and the song quickly devolves into MOR blandness. Yeah she still has a fine voice, but she wastes it, and a promising title like “Tattoo”, on fluff about an old boyfriend forever branded in her heart. This could have taken a more interesting route and been about the underage singer rebelling against her father’s wishes by getting some extreme body ink, or the sad regret of prematurely putting some boy’s name on her chest. But no, not coming from this sickeningly earnest goody two shoes.

Until she breaks out of her “Care Bear” shell and gives us a “Before He Cheats”, I’ll keep my “Idol” giddiness on what beat-box-blessed goodie Blake is going to unleash.

DL: “Tattoo” (YFH)

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