mixtape maestro (2.0)

In which Lady Gaga reminds us of the old days when a “World Premiere Music Video Short Film Event” (as well as corded land-lines) really meant something.

We can’t help but think (or hope) that somewhere Missy Elliott has just finished watching this awesomely WTF!!-to-the-infinite-power  (and obviously Quentin Tarantino-influenced) smorgasbord of mass murder, girl-on-girl kissing (and prison fights!!!), bizarro fashion sense (where does one buy still-lit, half-smoked cigarette butt shades?), early Madonna eyebrows, purposefully flat acting, shared Honey Bun snacking, vogueing boy dancer chefs, future Twitter-hyped one-liners (“Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger“) and…erm, Tyrese, and has immediately got her record label on the phone, demanding that they get her a music video budget big enough to include James Cameron as director and the actual Moon as a set location, just so she can end up besting GaGa’s “Telephone” as the owner of 2010’s best clip.

BONUS DL: As An Aquarius (Myspace) featuring Bryan Zimmerman “Telephone (Lady Gaga/ Beyonce Cover)” (alt)

Uncategorized as an aquarius, beyonce, bryan zimmerman, cover song, dance pop, diva pop, lady gaga

Who would’ve ever thunk that the uncredited female voice that co-signed Flo Rida’s Dead or Alive & oral sex pleasure-meshing hook on “Right Round” would snatch up a solo hit of her own a couple seasons later, let alone a massively popular hit that would not only open the new year as the #1 pop single in the country, but break download sales records while there?

That’s the reality for pop newcomer Ke$ha and her debut single “Tik Tok”, an air-brainy, white girl rap concoction about on-the-budget “swagger”, Jack Daniels-assisted dental hygiene practices and spending booze-filled nights dodging “boys trying to touch my junk” at the local hot spots while in search for her ideal boy-toy: Dudes that “look like Mick Jagger” (cue puke in mouth).

It’s as unabashedly trashy as it is horrifically catchy (oh, who could deny that classic DJ-directed pop hook or the Twitter-iffically now opening line, “Wake up in the morning feelin’ like P Diddy”?) and basically pleading for some rapper to attach some equally hedonistic sixteen to it.

No surprise at all that that rapper ends up being guilty pleasure-magnet Pitbull, who fronts this remix with a verse that re-heats old ’90’s rap dialogue (“There’s some freaks in the living room getting it on and-”, yeah, we all know how that one ends) while providing other Spring Break in Cancun-centered lyrical fluff that will have your grandparents S-ing their DH’s in disgust.

Whether you dig it’s glitchy dance-pop inanity or chalk it up as Reason No. 5,864,221 why today’s music sucks balls, be prepared to hear it ad infinitum well into the Two Thousand and Dime.

Ke$ha’s debut, Animal, drops January 5th.

DL: “Tik Tok (Remix)” (alt)

Uncategorized dance pop, ke$ha, pitbull, remix

“It sounds like ABBA’s ‘Fernando’”.

“No, I hear Madonna’s ‘La Isla Bonita’”.

Ever since it’s premiere a couple months back, “Alejandro”, Lady Gaga’s The Fame Monster-housed ode to letting go of old Latin lovers, has inspired plenty of giddy “This reminds me of…” chatter amongst her ever-growing fanbase, with many targeting those two aforementioned records.

But for anyone who kept their ears glued to Top 40 radio in the early ’90’s, “Alejandro” read the best as a tribute of sorts to ABBA via the slow, pseudo-reggae lope and weighty, Euro-dance-pop galumph relied on by that other mega-selling Swedish quartet Ace of Base, an idea succinctly proved through this inevitable mash-up of “Alejandro” and Ace of Base’s fifteen-year-old sound-alike “Don’t Turn Around” spliced together by award-winning Vegas DJ/ producer Morningstar.

Not only do both tracks own virtually the same backing track and melodic structure, allowing for near-seamless back-and-forth transitioning, but the concluding relationships depicted in both numbers nicely compliment eachother, the combined requests of “Don’t turn around/ Cause you’re gonna see my heart breaking” and “Don’t call my name/ Don’t call my name, Alejandro” helping add an entire new layer of brilliance to this appreciated novelty.

DL: “Alejandro/ Don’t Turn Around (Morningstar Mash-Up)” (alt)

Uncategorized '90's, ace of base, dance pop, lady gaga, las vegas, mash-up, morningstar, sweden

For a Hot 100-topping entry that finally sees Britney embracing a more straight-forward approach to her brand of pop sluttery (rather than continuing to feign innocence while hiding behind schoolyard wordplay, Neptunes-assisted Vanity 6 dress-up and wink-wink award show performances), the ménage-à-trois-celebrating “3″ sure doesn’t amount to much.

Some temporary giggle-worthiness does arise from the whole “Peter Paul and Mary” bit (oh Brit, you so nasty-goofy), but, aside from the “let’s slow it down” bridge portion (the makings of a cool song all on it’s own), “3″ mostly comes across as this cheap sounding, half-finished throwaway cut that the powers-that-be unnecessarily “rescued” from the Blackout/ Circus sessions’ cutting room floor. Oh, how Max Martin should leave the crunk-pop stylings to the other folks.

It doesn’t help much that Spears, who has increasingly sounded less and less…well, human, on recent albums, seems to register here as only another low-budget synth noise, or that the recently premiered video (equally as cheap feeling and filled front-to-back with now-signature Brit “choreography” that mainly consists of Cover Girl commercial model poses, sharp arm movements and bored stripper shimmy/ grinds) only leaves us wondering why we ever thought she was this great dancer in the first place.

We know, we know: much shouldn’t be expected from a Greatest Hits add-on, but still…sigh.

Uncategorized britney spears, dance pop, max martin

While most of the blog-crit-hype that rewarded Basement Jaxx‘ comeback-of-sorts “Raindrops” was justifiable-it definitely ranked near the top of the list of the past season’s most summer-tastic entries-it still felt a little too reined-in, serving as an only quasi-reminder of the bursting-at-the-seams dance euphoria the duo reigned with on their first two masterpiece albums. Not to mention the lingering feeling that it would be mostly forgotten about by winter time.

Follow-up single “Feeling’s Gone” feels just as temporarily likable, but at least it serves the bonus treat of being the second greatest thing Sam Sparro’s Prince-spiked divo voice has ever been aligned with (for the hopeslessly confused, “Black & Gold” would chart first, of course).

One of the more straight-forward dance-pop entries to emerge from Basement Jaxx’ “mad scientist” lab, “Gone”’s dense modern disco frame carries a few moments of pizazz (the single-finger keyboard plinks, the 4/4 hand claps), but it’s main selling point lands firmly on Sparro’s electric performance, which starts off all soulful assuredness before evolving into bursts of back-of-the-throat tingling shriek histrionics.

Can’t wait to hear what remixes come of this.

Bassment Jaxx’ Scars arrives September 22nd (Pre-order here).

Uncategorized basement jaxx, blue-eyed soul, dance pop, house, sam sparro, UK

Following up his surprisingly effective flashback to arena-sized ’90’s rave “I’m Not Alone”, Calvin Harris unleashes yet another irresistable foot-mover with “Ready For The Weekend”, a feel-good dance-pop entry focused on the anticipated thrills of a post-work week break.

“So if you’re waiting, jump out your skin/ To find a cure for whatever state your in”, advises the robo-nerd voiced-Harris as prancey keyboard hits surround him with their giddy, child-like tone. But all of his thinnish singing efforts bear little importance once UK singer Mary Pearce enters the picture for the chorus, bringing to light this euphoric high of big diva wailings and contagious house delirium as she prepares herself for the good times around the corner.

Catch the babe-heavy video below, then proceed to set your Friday afternoon off right by snatching up the High Contrast Remix afterward.

Harris’ much-anticipated sophomore release, Ready For The Weekend, arrives August 17th.

DL: “Ready For The Weekend (High Contrast Remix)” (alt)

Uncategorized '90's, calvin harris, dance pop, dance remix, high contrast, house

Ragga-froggy-voiced curioso Sean Kingston is back, and while his latest effort “Fire Burning” might not have the power to distance him from the novelty whispers that will probably always surround him, it’s conveniently armed with a dancefloor-ready charge that’ll surely earn him lots of spins alongside the Lady Gaga, Flo Rida and Black Eyed Peas tunes currently dominating Top 40 playlists.

In need of someone to blame for your inability to break from under “Fire Burning”’s spell? Target producer RedOne, the man behind GaGa’s trio of Top Ten hits. He envelops Kingston’s disinctive growls about some dame’s mesmerizing “birthday cake” (read: ’09’s version of a badonkadonk) in a spirited assault of gleaming synth work and buzzing bass sounds that may come across a bit chintzy when heard while alone, but when heard blaring from the DJ’s speakers while stuck within a mass of drunk and sweaty party-goers, feels like the peaking moment of an excitement-filled Friday night out.

From the album Tomorrow, due August 25th.

Uncategorized dance pop, lady gaga, redone, sean kingston, summertime

We have a confession to make.

For the past couple weeks-starting with our delayed appreciation for “Boom Boom Pow” and continuing with a fondness for the superb “two-for-one” deal that was “Imma Be”-we’ve slowly come to terms with the fact that we actuallly might kinda love the Black Eyed Peas. GASP! SHOCK! HORROR!

Now don’t worry, we’re not entirely insane (we totally despite their “Mazel Tov”-citing new single, “I Gotta Feeling” for being just a little too damn cheery), but we’ve got to admit that two other E.N.D. tracks that have boiled to the surface recently have got us completely enraptured by the foursome’s shameless, 80’s new wave-meets-hip-pop meshings.

On “Alive”, pinings after an old love might be delivered in the vein of a SNL teen-pop spoof (Notes Fergie: “You are my best friend and boyfriend/ Now it seems like you’re my worst friend/ I gotta do soul searching/ Without you I’m a whole different person…”), but it’s the suave dance sonics subtly bumping beneath the lyrics that ultimately win you over.

That same expert juggling of (guilty)pleasure and heartached Fergie showstealing-ness is captured on the even better “Meet Me Halfway”, an amped-up ballad which bites the soaring drive of The Killers’ “When You Were Young” in it’s epic “oh-oh-oh” melody while The Dutchess commits a solid vocal performance that hints of a newly reinvigorated interest in her old, childhood Cyndi Lauper/ Madonna records.

We’re sure that once we get a full listen to the rest of The E.N.D. and the many embarrassments it’ll no doubt provide, our current kooky infatuation with will, Ferg and the other (less important) two will subside a-plenty, but for the moment, we’re officially getting in line with the millions of other BEP fanatics around the world we used to so enjoy publicly mocking before.

The E.N.D. drops June 9th. As a bonus, peep this nice “(Not Just) Knee Deep”-sampling remix of the Peas’ ‘03 single “Shut Up” (found on The E.N.D. Deluxe Edition) below:

DL: “Shut The Phunk Up” (alt)

Uncategorized 80's, black eyed peas, dance pop, fergie, new wave, the e.n.d., will.i.am

Can you believe that “Boom Boom Pow” is currently celebrating it’s seventh week atop the Hot 100? That when the record books sum up the biggest single successes of 2009, this joint may actually be the one atop the heap? Now think about this frightening notion: we’re starting to get the feeling that it won’t be the last trip to the top of the Pops that the group makes this year, and even more scarier, we might not even mind the next record to possibly get there.

Recent album cut leakage “Imma Be” is basically a sequel to “Boom Boom Pow”, dipping into the same recipe of club-friendly electro-hop production and dumb-to-the-infinite-power dialogue that The E.N.D. lead single brought to the table, but while it took us a minute to come around to “BBP” (with it being played like twelve millions time a day, wasn’t like we really had a chance to escape it), on first listen, “Imma Be” is actually…not…that…bad.

Of course you have to mentally delete the accompanying lyrics (more silly gibberish about being “next level” and “futuristic”) and the “A Milli”-styled stutter hook scheme should have really been retired back when Beyonce adopted it, but when the passable marching band thump of the first halve suddenly transitions into a frenzied Euro-dance thingamajig mid-way through, “Imma Be” immediately morphs from an eye-rolling “why can’t they just disapear” to a brow-raising “I think I might need to hear this again!”.

If this turns out to be the second single, and not the rumored-to-be official “BBP” follow-up (and truly atrocious) “I Gotta Feeling” that’s also making the blog rounds right now, the Peas may actually have a stranglehold over the Summer just as they did in the Spring. This time with nary a complaint from us.

Uncategorized black eyed peas, dance pop, electro-hop, the e.n.d.

The transition from Destiny’s Child contributor to solo star hasn’t really been all that smooth for Kelly Rowland State-side (leaving one to wonder why she even still bothers), but when you check her stats overseas, a different story is told: In the UK alone, she’s managed to produce 6 Top Twenty singles as a solo lead! With that knowledge, it’s not all that surprising that Kelly would take a break from the traditional (and quite overcrowded) female R&B/ hip hop scheme and hedge her bets in the continued pursuing of a more international-friendly pop sound.

Her latest single “When Love Takes Over”, a collaboration with French DJ David Guetta, shows that to be a smart decision, as, for probably the first time in her post-DC career, Kelly actually sounds like a true superstar.

Some will likely be immediately turned off by either the song’s epic-sized, Euro-dance template, blatant theft of the piano melody from Coldplay’s “Clocks” or majorly corny script about the power of love (“Under water/ Now i can breathe/ It never felt so good/ ‘Cause i can feel it coming over me/ I wouldn’t stop it if I could”), but those that do stick with the tune for it’s full length will be rewarded with a masterful Rowland vocal performance, one that exudes the kind of assured, top-diva confidence often lacking in her previous solo outings.

Peep the Cascada-y original, below, followed by a nice live acoustic performance.

Uncategorized dance pop, david guetta, diva pop, france, kelly rowland