mixtape maestro (2.0)

Jay-Z tried, but sadly his grumpy old rapper efforts were, it seems, for naught.

As if “D.O.A” never meant anything (which, to be honest, it kinda didn’t about a nanosecond after first hearing it), T-Pain, one of the bigger faces of the “Auto-Tune” movement that’s suffocated the pop, R&B and rap music scenes in recent years, has polished off his BIG ASS CHAIN and begun his march back to ubiquity. Leaks from his forthcoming fourth album RevolveЯ have already started to surface all across the Web, but the tracks that will likely trigger more interest amongst the masses would have to be the couple of high-profile remix gigs found below that he’s smartly lined up to aid in creating buzz for his…guess you could say “comeback”.

The first re-pairs him with R&B kindred spirit of-sorts R. Kelly in a 2.0 take of what’s become Kellz biggest hit in two years, the currently chart-climbing “Number One”. And like their previous collaborations (the remixes to “Same Girl” and “I’m A Flirt”), it’s another memorable joint of the minds between the two modern soul freakazoids.

Featuring Keyshia Cole in place of Keri Hilson and dubbed a “remix for the clubs” despite the fact it bears the same slow groove tempo of the original, the song births plenty of great lyrical snippets to add to both men’s already very lengthy lists of awesomely WTF!! songwriting nuggets, from Pain’s “I’m-a put that BMI all over your ASCAP” to Kelly’s “Baby girl I guarantee once I get up in you/ I will make that pussy speak to me in Auto-Tune” making for what could best be described as robot-icized sex jam heaven!!

DL: “Number One (Remix)” (alt)

For his other remix appearance, T-Pain is inserted into a “re-configured for urban airplay” version of Shakira’s “She-Wolf” that ticks all the necessary boxes to realize it’s goal with it’s disco beat stifling, generic ’09 hip-pop production overhaul (listening to it, you nearly expect Flo-Rida to pop up with some corny club rap banter at some point).

Unnecessary? Totally, though some slight entertainment value can be found in Mr. Pend-Her-Ass-Down’s aping of Shakira’s vocal melody. But it did get us to thinking of how cool would it have been if he had found a way to bring his boy R. Kelly in here. Having the “R” in R&B spout out some naughty verse about a fanged seductress would have really brought this revamp to the next level.

DL: “She-Wolf (T-Pain Remix)” (alt)

Mary J Blige disciple Keyshia Cole is back to dole out more advice to her female brethren on her summer new single, “Let It Go”, warning her peeps not to waste their time with men who’ve lied in the past even if their heart is telling them that they can’t leave him yet. Cole, who spent a majority of her platinum debut, The Way It Is, stuck in one-sided relationships has the perfect voice to embody the role of the long-suffering girl constantly picking the wrong dudes. Her emotive alto crackled on the edge of hoarseness on several occasions as she painfully focused on presumed fairy tale romances that always seemed to turn sour right when she figured he was the one. Young women reacted strongly to her inability to escape all the hurt and pain, and when a good man finally did come around, on the striking ballad “Love”, she could barely contain her excitement, resorting in probably one of the more nuisanced vocal interpretations of the four letter word ever.

Closer to reaching Mary J’s post-No More Drama mantra of “love yourself first or you can’t love anyone else”, Keyshia tries her best to convince another female that it’s no use trying to hold on to a man who can’t keep his eyes, and groin, from swaying in someone else’s direction. “It ain’t where he at/ It’s where he wanna be”, she sings, even going as far too admit that he’s been trying to talk to her on the side as well.

That the song could find some use with the familiar midtempo strains of Mtume’s timeless ’80′s jam “Juicy Fruit”, re-popularized as Biggie’s “Juicy”, is a miracle, though not the first time Cole breathed new life into an obvious sample (remember her last album’s “Never”, which basically milked the entire instrumental of “Never Too Much”?). Girl power cameos help round out the number as Lil’ Kim drops another strong verse (she needs to drop a new album now!!) and Missy Elliott, as usual, keeps things fun by adopting Melle Mel’s chuckle and Paris Hilton’s catchphrase (“That’s hot”) while endorsing her big-boned lady lumps (“He ask how I do that that/ Fit jeans over baby fat”).

Download: “Let It Go” (Amazon)

Whether it was Diddy’s strange glam-rock vocal, Keyshia Cole’s earnest soul singing or that bizarre ’80′s throwback sound that made you melt, “Last Night” became the little song we didn’t think The-Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Too-Many-Aliases-To Name could bring to the table. Slowly, but surely, it emerged as the winning hit from the ridiculously good Press Play album, giving the disc a new shelf life well after it’s previous singles had failed to become the guest-heavy pop smashes they were built to be. Knowing how to build off a good thing and remind us that he had “invented” the remix, Diddy launched several updatings of the tune including an all star posse cut that featured the likes of Rich Boy and Big Boi among others. Now, he’s upped the ante with probably the most hyped one of the bunch, thanks to a reunion with Lil’ Kim that sort of reclaims the magic the duo once shared with Biggie.

Dipping further into the original’s 80′s haze, “Last Night (Remix Part 2)” milks a sample of Prince’s B-side classic “Erotic City” for all it’s worth, accenting the track’s sparse electro-funk with pretty organ touches and humorous pleas to make this your new ringtone. All ears are on Lil’ Kim here who proves that a year in a slammer just made her nicer with the pen. She answers Diddy’s pitiful voice mail messages with irritated precision, acknowledging that he never once mailed her a letter while she was behind bars and finding secret joy in him experiencing the same lonely pain she had just put behind her. But don’t sleep on Busta either, who backs up the song’s male role with an equally intoxicating guest appearance.

The kind of A-list Bad Boy remix that the label graciously offered in the past, this killer “Last Night” revision finds Diddy remarkably bouncing back from the worthless underwear stain he had become. Now the promise of him putting his musical identity to bed real soon suddenly seems sad. How crazy is that?!