mixtape maestro (2.0)

As if to remind the public that he’s good for more than just over-the-top sex jams, R. Kelly steers in a Sam Cooke-inspired vintage soul direction on fantastic new single “When A Woman Loves”, a classy, “grown folks R&B” ballad that finds him showering praise on his woman’s undying devotion towards him, even after all those times he’s been a pure knucklehead and failed her.

With the backing arrangement taking on the dramatic orchestral flair of his parents’ favorite slow-paced two-steppers, Kellz digs deep into the supper club soul-man persona, paying tribute to her allegiance with an award-baiting vocal performance filled with hand-wringing intensity and sincere passion.

Yeah, lines like “She’s got more, more faith in me than a beach got sand”, his repeated bellows of being “forever indebted” and a slight chintzy feel to the production come close to edging the song into hokey territory, but the track is moving nonetheless, easily one of the best Pied Piper creations in years.

From his forthcoming thirteenth (!!) album, Love Letter.

Jack Splash has quietly made a name for himself over the past few years in his roles as singer, rapper, songwriter and producer.

Besides drawing raving acclaim for his contributions to Plantlife, a wildly entertaining, three-albums-deep funk outfit based out of L.A., he’s also hooked up some of the brightest talents in modern-day R&B (Alicia Keys, R. Kelly, John Legend, Raheem DeVaughn, Solange, Estelle, Jennifer Hudson, Jazmine Sullivan) with these amazingly lush sounds and classic-tinged romantic scripts steeped in the always-rewarding luster of yesteryear soul (credits include throwback-seasoned singles like Keys’ “Teenage Love Affair”, Legend’s “P.D.A.” and Solange’s “T.O.N.Y.”).

This year has the potential to be Jack’s true breakout year though, thanks to the premiere of his much-delayed solo debut, Technology And Love Might Save It All. But just in case you’re still not yet completely sold on why it should be a necessity for you to circle the May release date of the project (or, hell, are still scratching your head trying to figure out who dude is), we’ve gathered three previously unleashed cuts for your listening pleasure below. Promises you’ll be an instant fan after hearing them:

“I Could Have Loved You” featuring Missy Elliott & Jazmine Sullivan

-leaked to high praise last summer, this infectious four-on-the-floor delight finds the ladies and Splash in the midst of a flirtatious stand-off. “I could have loved you,” they tease in a buttery smoove R&B hook, but because they’re both already attached, they can only offer a naughty twirl on the dancefloor. With their mates nowhere in sight though, Jack isn’t fully convinced they’re telling the truth, inquiring in his best Prince voice, “If you gotta man at home/ Why you got them high heels on?”.

DL: “I Could Have Loved You” (alt)

“Ringtone” featuring R. Kelly & T-Pain

-here, Splash is once again on the prowl (“Baby I just wanna get with you/ In a most familiar way/ I don’t wanna cause a spectacle/ I just had to stop and say…”) and being flanked by a supporting cast of A-listers (T-Pain drops a rap verse, an Auto-Tuned Kellz provides the chorus); but the track’s most noteworthy element is it’s oddly meshed groove, a surprisingly effective combination of synth-R&B quirk and acoustic guitar sunniness

DL: “Ringtone” (alt)

“.38 Special” featuring Cee-Lo

-Splash’s latest leakage, from the forthcoming mixtape King of The Beats (due this week), re-teams him with The Heart Attack partner Cee-Lo, for an exquisite dishing of needly guitar funk, golden age mic braggadocio (“I ain’t talkin’ bout a gun/ My .38 special, I spit from my tongue…”) and the kind of soul-stirring Gnarls Barkley-ish hooks Cee handles so well.

DL: “.38 Special” (alt)

Sample some of Splash’s other creations via the widget below; pick up his last mixtape, Heir To The Throne, here.

Jay-Z tried, but sadly his grumpy old rapper efforts were, it seems, for naught.

As if “D.O.A” never meant anything (which, to be honest, it kinda didn’t about a nanosecond after first hearing it), T-Pain, one of the bigger faces of the “Auto-Tune” movement that’s suffocated the pop, R&B and rap music scenes in recent years, has polished off his BIG ASS CHAIN and begun his march back to ubiquity. Leaks from his forthcoming fourth album RevolveЯ have already started to surface all across the Web, but the tracks that will likely trigger more interest amongst the masses would have to be the couple of high-profile remix gigs found below that he’s smartly lined up to aid in creating buzz for his…guess you could say “comeback”.

The first re-pairs him with R&B kindred spirit of-sorts R. Kelly in a 2.0 take of what’s become Kellz biggest hit in two years, the currently chart-climbing “Number One”. And like their previous collaborations (the remixes to “Same Girl” and “I’m A Flirt”), it’s another memorable joint of the minds between the two modern soul freakazoids.

Featuring Keyshia Cole in place of Keri Hilson and dubbed a “remix for the clubs” despite the fact it bears the same slow groove tempo of the original, the song births plenty of great lyrical snippets to add to both men’s already very lengthy lists of awesomely WTF!! songwriting nuggets, from Pain’s “I’m-a put that BMI all over your ASCAP” to Kelly’s “Baby girl I guarantee once I get up in you/ I will make that pussy speak to me in Auto-Tune” making for what could best be described as robot-icized sex jam heaven!!

DL: “Number One (Remix)” (alt)

For his other remix appearance, T-Pain is inserted into a “re-configured for urban airplay” version of Shakira’s “She-Wolf” that ticks all the necessary boxes to realize it’s goal with it’s disco beat stifling, generic ’09 hip-pop production overhaul (listening to it, you nearly expect Flo-Rida to pop up with some corny club rap banter at some point).

Unnecessary? Totally, though some slight entertainment value can be found in Mr. Pend-Her-Ass-Down’s aping of Shakira’s vocal melody. But it did get us to thinking of how cool would it have been if he had found a way to bring his boy R. Kelly in here. Having the “R” in R&B spout out some naughty verse about a fanged seductress would have really brought this revamp to the next level.

DL: “She-Wolf (T-Pain Remix)” (alt)

It was only a matter of time before the suddenly on-the-verge-of-ubiquity again R. Kelly would attach himself to “Birthday Sex”. The recently chart-topping Jeremih bedroom jam felt like a second-rate Kells number from the get-go, so it comes as no surprise that the tune would be touched upon for the upcoming R. Kelly/ DJ Skee/ DJ Drama mixtape collaboration The Demo Tape.

Unfortunately, this remix doesn’t really gift us with the over-the-top raunch we were praying for (proving our long-held fears that Kells really has run out of the outlandish XXX-rated ideas we’ve admired from him for so long), but it’s ultimately more satisfying than Demo‘s previous drop, a somewhat meh remix of Drake’s “Best I Ever Had”, managing to keep us mildly amused with Robert’s immediate dismissal of his girl’s galpal (aka: “That bitch on defense”) and laughing off of tried-and-true ‘birthday sex’ tactics (he doesn’t do jumping out of cakes!!).

Snatch up the (tagged) joint below:

DL: “Birthday Sex (DJ Skee Mix)” (alt)

When most people love songs, they simply play them over and over or turn them into self-identifying ringtones, but for the Kells, his adoration is taken a step further: he wants to BE on the record. Over the past couple of years, Robert has embedded himself within hit songs from Kanye West, Mariah Carey, The-Dream, Ciara and Beyonce, his, at-times hilarious, contributions always seeming to tinge with the regret that he didn’t record the songs first.

And like everyone else, it looks like he’s caught the “obsessed-with-Drake” bug too, so much so that he feels a need to bombard the rapper/ singer’s breakout single “Best I Ever Had”.

Unfortunately though, besides the semi-noteworthy “Baby girl I’m rich/ I can buy your ass whatever/ Money in the sky/ Look, see I changed the weather” line and an…erm, interesting dig about fucking haters with a “sandpaper dick”, his appearance here is a bit of bore, lacking the wacky sex metaphors he used to be able to sling out with ease with an over-reliance on more cliché-ridden lyrics about post-club, hotel sex sessions.

This is one instance where R. Kelly probably should have just stayed a hands-off admirer. Besides, instead of trying (and ultimately failing) at upgrading someone else’s career, he really should be concentrating on recording a buzz-worthy new album that could rescue his own.

DL: “Best I Ever Had (Remix)” (alt)

Despite it’s head-scratch-inducing featuring of Shaggy (what is this, the year 2000?; was the usually ubiquitous Sean Paul’s line busy or something?), a backing beat that sounds a little too close to the 2007 Double Up album cut, “Freaky In The Club”, and the fact that it’s basically a lazy re-adaptation of the classic Mad Cobra number of the same name, R. Kelly’s latest leak, “Flex”, still turns out to be yet another one of his effortlessly Grade-A bump & grinders.

Kelly always knows where to go to put a listener in that kind of mood, and he doesn’t disappoint here with a silky, island hop of a groove that easily woos your body into some slow-twisting, suggestive rhythm. Of course, with this being a Pied Piper concoction, we’re served a bunch of lyrical gab not meant for a minor’s ears (though, in his case, you never know…) as well as mandatory stupid-dumb rhymes like “Lamborghini” and “white bikini”, but we’ll ignore his running-in-place creativity (not like we haven’t before) and try our best to temporarily withdraw from those embedded feelings of child-porn-associated ickiness since this surefire bedroom soundtracker rides so damn smooth. It’s just too bad he couldn’t have tracked down Mad Cobra and truly made this joint an official “Flex” redux.

DL: “Flex” (alt)

It seems the people have spoken. R. Kelly might have gotten off scot-free from that forever-long child porn case, but post-trial, his dominance over urban playlists has come to a screeching halt with recent singles “Hairbraider” and “Skin” failing to muster up much chart love (despite both bearing the blueprint of becoming major hits). So what does a down-on-his-luck, one-time R&B kingpin do next? Attach himself, bootleg-style, to one of the most talked about records of the season and hope it reminds people why they adored nearly everything else he put out for well over a decade.

To Kells’ credit, he makes a better fit on the heavily Auto-Tune-shaded “Love Lockdown” than the less vocally talented Kanye (who still came off sounding underwhelming after releasing numerous track revisions), but R. also obliterates much of the original’s cool mystique in his efforts to turn “Lockdown” into a typical “R. Kelly song”. Shouting out a highlight of his old-school catalogue by dubbing this “a “version of ‘When A Man’s Fed Up’”, he needlessly fills in the lines of West’s vague laments of romance woe, spewing disdain towards a lover who just couldn’t get it right even after multiple attempts, while throwing in zany metaphors like “we used to be like a Vegas night on a winning streak” and, predictably, winding the narrative into a “picking up sexy chicks at the club” scenario.

If this version had came out first, it would be a little bit easier to get behind, but compared to West’s far-superior original (and the fact that most have already bypassed the now-passé “Lockdown” and begun indulging in the handful of other 808s & Heartbreaks leaks that have since flooded the blogosphere), this redux doesn’t really register has anything special beyond a single curioso listen.

Remember when Kells was starting R&B trends rather than tardily following them in a desperate attempt to stay relevant?

DL: “Love Lockdown (Remix)” (YFH)

We all know that Kells has some troubling personal issues and if the images from that infamous leaked tape are as true as they seem, he deserves to spend some time behind bars. Yet, because he is such a consistently satisfying musician mega-miles beyond his closest competition and able to milk creamy R&B confections and awesomely ridiculous hip hop anthems without breaking a sweat, we’ve opted on separating the predator from the artist to justify our continued support over his music.

Double Up album track “Freaky In The Club” is one of the reasons why we have chosen such a blind, semi-forgivable stance. The song might carry an uncomfortable title for a man in his position, but beyond it’s silly, sex-crazed imagery, the track rides a eloquent melody that blankets your soul in the same happy warmth that steppers’ grooves like “Step In The Name of Love” and “Happy People” pleasantly delivered. Illustrating the stimulating body language of today’s forbidden dance: slow winding, Kelly flirts with a tidy, reggae two-step comfortably nestled in romancing horns and jerky drums. It’s utterly magical and testament to the man’s amazing ability to find something new within the same soul man parameters he’s mastered in the past fifteen years.

On “Rock Star”, Robert takes a cue from the Shop Boyz’ heavy metal-meets-crunk idea, producing an addictive “rock, hop & b” fusion as the basis for more pornographic pleasing. Unlike “Freaky”, the track’s dark, guitar-addled edge welcomes it’s mature subject matter, Luda’s XXX-rated, animated flow (“I’ll strip you/ I’ll strip you down to your bare minimum/ And I’ll lick you/ I’ll lick you down/ Ya taste like cinnamon”) a perfect partner to Robert’s typical horny fervor. An out-of-nowhere appearance from Kid Rock in the third quarter invites a brief burst of cock rock posing that’s a little beyond Robert’s reach (What?! Something he can’t do well?!), but it quickly rights itself towards the fade-out as the guitars hit a new intensity level and Robert puts on his best MJ impression, bellowing “I’m a rock star baby!!” amidst high-pitched yelps and whoops that don’t nearly get as campy as they sound on paper.

With tracks as solid as these, it looks like R&B’s top dog will continue to remain just as beloved, overriding our better judgment with stand-out material we can’t help but enjoy. Hopefully, when that sentencing ever does reach it’s day, the R. will have enough gems like these stashed away to keep us entertained even while he’s forced to confront the psyche behind his sick crimes within the inner sanctum of a prison. How crazy is a wish as that? No other artist today could leave us as flustered in self-conflict as Robert Kelly has.

Download: “Freaky In The Club” (Amazon)
Download: “Rock Star” (Amazon)

Take notes Beyonce and Shakira, this is how you’re supposed to make a song about finding out your bumping uglies with the same person. R. Kelly and Usher, the two biggest cats in R&B, put their egos aside to make most other male contemporary soul singers not matter within a four minute span on the delightfully soap-ish duet “Same Girl”.

No one can script drama like Kells and he does his legacy proud with another stellar entry pulled from his twisted mind. The song starts off innocently enough with Robert and Usher pretending like they’ve been homies for years over a sturdy melancholy groove of echoing guitars and plinky keys. Kelly is all proud, talking up this new chick he’s been kicking it, but Usher is forced to speak up when some similarities start to become way more than coincidental. Her name is Tee Tee? She went to Georgia Tech? She works at TBS (!?!)? Aw hell to the naw! Homegirl might as well have been Superhead the way she’s able to easily trap both celebs in her claws.

Going for the “bros before hoes” mantra, the duo opt to trap the girl in her own game, deciding not to call her up on three way and instead invite her to a spot where they both can confront her and…sing this song to her? I guess not every Kelly tune should end with someone pulling out a Baretta but what this song lacks in an explosive finish it makes up for in superstar credentials and convincing male bonding.

<embed src=”http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:uma:video:mtvmusic.com:157599″ width=”320″ height=”271″ type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” flashVars=”dist=http://www.mtvmusic.com” allowFullScreen=”true” AllowScriptAccess=”never”></embed> <div style=”margin:0; text-align:center; width:320px;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:10px;”><a style=”color:#000000;” href=”http://www.mtvmusic.com/kelly_r”>R. Kelly</a> |<a style=”color:#000000;” href=”http://www.mtvmusic.com/”>MTV Music</a></div>

The way R. Kelly has reacquainted himself with the urban charts thanks to a string of great cameos (Snoop Dogg’s “That’s That”, Young Jeezy’s “Go Getta”, Fat Joe’s “Make It Rain (Remix)”, Ciara’s must hear “Promise (Remix)”), it’s no surprise that Bow Wow decided not to release his Kells-assisted track “I’m A Flirt” as a single. But not one to let a potential smash fly by, Kelly hijacked the track for himself, omitting any trace of Bow Wow, and bringing along the slick rhyming TI and Tennessee protegee T Pain to make it his own new single. Whether the move is legal or not, Kelly’s “I’m A Flirt” completely trumps the original and only further solidifies the Pied Piper has the greatest artist in R&B today.

If you thought the bouncy “Ignition (Remix)” was the best drunken sing-a-long Kelly could come up with (and don’t act like you wouldn’t get all hyped if it came on the radio right now), then prepare yourself to be hit with another one. Atop woozy piano chords that embody the high one gets when they’ve had too much to drink and aren’t feeling nauseous just yet, R. Kelly and his brigade make it a point to claim all women (taken or not) as fair game. No one else can pull off such bold conceit or goofy lyrics (“A dog on the prowl when I’m walking through the mall/ If I could man I would flirt with all of y’all”) like Robert and it’s the reason why we love him, even when our morals cautious us we shouldn’t. T Pain, whose built a career off of similar loopiness, aims to be as dorkishly clever as his obvious mentor but the best he can do is ridiculously don himself “Teddy Pender-Ass” while questionably continuing to endorse the use of a vocoder. Meanwhile, the always reliable TI glides over the giddy beat with the ease of an Olympic skier.

How astounding is it that R. Kelly can still manage to push out such great songs in a career span that is quickly reaching twenty years? Even more so, how sad is for the state of R&B when the man doesn’t even have to try hard and still sounds miles more interesting than all the other male crooners hogging the airwaves?