mixtape maestro (2.0)

Monica featuring Missy Elliott & Notorious B.I.G. “Everything To Me (Remix)”/ “Blackberry”

While most other mainstream R&B artists are too busy trying to keep the kids’ attention by sounding like malfunctioning robots and wannabe rappers, or awkwardly straining (and usually failing) to inject as much soul as possible in between club-happy house thumps and electro bleeps and bloops, Monica aimed to keep it simple and just saaang on her Missy Elliott co-produced lead Still Standing single “Everything To Me”, a vintage-hugging, Broadway-sized tribute to the “perfect man”.

Though the back-to-basics move has proven successful (the track is currently spending it’s third week atop the R&B/ Hip Hop singles chart, making it Monica’s first #1 in seven years), the song falls a bit on the bland side, mostly making us wish to hear the tune it samples (Deniece Williams similarly theatrical, albeit far more dynamic, ’81 classic “Silly”) more.

Slightly better is the summer jeep jam-styled remix, which again lifts it’s musical foundation from the ’80′s R&B world (this time, Rene & Angela’s “I Love You More”), as well as a completely unnecessary re-heated Notorious BIG verse from the Life After Death number “I Love The Dough” (tie-in for the confused: both songs sample the R&A joint), though we should note that the best song we’ve heard from Monica so far in 2010 was one that didn’t even officially make the album. That would be “Blackberry”, a midtempo cut that brings back the dual joys of both snap & b and Monica’s sassier side as she hits the roof after breaking the code to her man’s titular cell phone and finding out, through texts and voice mails from another chick, that he’s not being on the up-and-up. Oh, the drama.

DL: “Everything To Me (Remix)” (alt)

DL: “Blackberry” (alt)

T-Pain “Reverse Cowgirl”

It usually takes a good month or so for us for a new T-Pain single to make the transition from being just plain dumb to severely addicting (but still dumb), so it makes sense that right about now, after weeks of the Auto-Tune soul-man/ walking spoof’s latest bringing about all kinds of raging “What’s wrong with music today!?!” and “Why his this guy still around?!!” tantrums, we would start coming around to admiring “Reverse Cowgirl”.

Of course, like all the times before when it came to taking a liking to this guy’s solo material, we were drunk and “slow-dancing” (read: dry-humping some chick on the dancefloor) when we reached this epiphany, but admit it: there’s something awe-inspiring about the way T-Pain excels at making the silliest lyrics/ concepts (in this case, a certain sexual position and bleats of “Giddy up girl” and “Yee-haw”) sound SO DAMN DEEP with just a sprinkle of his yearning, “studio-sweetened” vocals.

Plus, we kinda dig the “artsy” moves of it’s video (see it below), where, especially under the influence of things we don’t feel the need to mention, watching T-Pain shake his dreads in slow motion is on par with seeing Avatar in 3-D for the first time.

DL: “Reverse Cowgirl (Young Jeezy Version)” (alt)

Next “You Are Not Alone (Michael Jackson Cover)”

More surprising than discovering that Next, the late-’90′s/ early-00′s hit R&B boy band who turned a song about getting erections on the dancefloor into a five-week #1 US pop smash, are still together and making music?

Finding out that their recently dropped cover of Michael Jackson’s “You Are Not Alone”, done in the synth-bedazzled Euro-R&B style of the inexplicably currently popular Taio Cruz/ Jay Sean/ Jason DeRulo (we know they’re different artists, but deep in our hearts we think they are all one person), is kinda-sorta not all that bad.

DL: “You Are Not Alone (Michael Jackson Cover)” (alt)

Faith Evans “I Wanna Rock (Snoop Dogg Freestyle Cover)”

The Former First Lady of Bad Boy peaks her head out of hibernation (really, where has Faith been)…with an unfortunate alter-ego tag (“Fizzy”)…to drop some boasting “rhymes” about her flow over a 2009 Snoop instrumental…and then some cat named Deuce Hanna (who?) raps.

Yeah, we don’t know what to say either…but here you go:

DL: “I Wanna Rock (Snoop Dogg Freestyle Cover)” (alt)

Lucy Pearl “Dance Tonight (Siik Remix)”

It’s another hot one from Siik, this time melding the acapella of short-lived soul supergroup Lucy Pearl‘s 2000 feelgood jam “Dance Tonight” with the seducing neo-soul grooves of the sorely under-appreciated The Foreign Exchange.

Oh, what we would do to have another LP album (with both Dawn Robinson and Joi in the mix)!!!

DL: “Dance Tonight (Siik Remix)” (alt)

YahZarah “Why Dontcha Call Me No More”

Foreign Exchange-affiliated singer-songwriter (and former Erykah Badu vocalist) YahZarah previews her forthcoming fourth album, the enticingly titled The Ballad of Purple Saint James, with “Why Dontcha Call Me No More”, a song that finds her going through the blues over a cheating beau (“Obviously you never had a broken heart/ Or you would’ve known better than to play with someone else’s”).

Don’t think that the song is another one of those depressing slow burners though. In fact, it plays more like a mood-lightener thanks to punk-ish kiss-off dialogue like “I hope you’re happy or whatever/ On second thought…not really” and a boppy, new wave-inspired backing beat that, in our heads, would be featured as the walking-down-the-aisle soundtrack for the wedding of Prince and Janelle Monae.

DL: “Why Dontcha Call Me No More” (alt)

Purple Reign “Say Something”

Newbie girl group, and latest Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins find, Purple Reign position themselves as ones to watch in the two-thousand-and-dime on this R&B twist of Timbaland & Drake’s “Say Something”. Of special note is the acapella intro, in which they both introduce their solid three-part harmonies and give a shout out to the inspiration behind their name with a melodic swipe from Prince’s “Purple Rain”.

Head here to hear the ladies tackle Drake’s “Fear”, Waka Flocka Flame’s “O Let’s Do It” and Young Money’s “Bed Rock”.

DL: “Say Something (Timbaland & Drake Freestyle Cover)” (alt)

Jack Splash has quietly made a name for himself over the past few years in his roles as singer, rapper, songwriter and producer.

Besides drawing raving acclaim for his contributions to Plantlife, a wildly entertaining, three-albums-deep funk outfit based out of L.A., he’s also hooked up some of the brightest talents in modern-day R&B (Alicia Keys, R. Kelly, John Legend, Raheem DeVaughn, Solange, Estelle, Jennifer Hudson, Jazmine Sullivan) with these amazingly lush sounds and classic-tinged romantic scripts steeped in the always-rewarding luster of yesteryear soul (credits include throwback-seasoned singles like Keys’ “Teenage Love Affair”, Legend’s “P.D.A.” and Solange’s “T.O.N.Y.”).

This year has the potential to be Jack’s true breakout year though, thanks to the premiere of his much-delayed solo debut, Technology And Love Might Save It All. But just in case you’re still not yet completely sold on why it should be a necessity for you to circle the May release date of the project (or, hell, are still scratching your head trying to figure out who dude is), we’ve gathered three previously unleashed cuts for your listening pleasure below. Promises you’ll be an instant fan after hearing them:

“I Could Have Loved You” featuring Missy Elliott & Jazmine Sullivan

-leaked to high praise last summer, this infectious four-on-the-floor delight finds the ladies and Splash in the midst of a flirtatious stand-off. “I could have loved you,” they tease in a buttery smoove R&B hook, but because they’re both already attached, they can only offer a naughty twirl on the dancefloor. With their mates nowhere in sight though, Jack isn’t fully convinced they’re telling the truth, inquiring in his best Prince voice, “If you gotta man at home/ Why you got them high heels on?”.

DL: “I Could Have Loved You” (alt)

“Ringtone” featuring R. Kelly & T-Pain

-here, Splash is once again on the prowl (“Baby I just wanna get with you/ In a most familiar way/ I don’t wanna cause a spectacle/ I just had to stop and say…”) and being flanked by a supporting cast of A-listers (T-Pain drops a rap verse, an Auto-Tuned Kellz provides the chorus); but the track’s most noteworthy element is it’s oddly meshed groove, a surprisingly effective combination of synth-R&B quirk and acoustic guitar sunniness

DL: “Ringtone” (alt)

“.38 Special” featuring Cee-Lo

-Splash’s latest leakage, from the forthcoming mixtape King of The Beats (due this week), re-teams him with The Heart Attack partner Cee-Lo, for an exquisite dishing of needly guitar funk, golden age mic braggadocio (“I ain’t talkin’ bout a gun/ My .38 special, I spit from my tongue…”) and the kind of soul-stirring Gnarls Barkley-ish hooks Cee handles so well.

DL: “.38 Special” (alt)

Sample some of Splash’s other creations via the widget below; pick up his last mixtape, Heir To The Throne, here.

Jay-Z tried, but sadly his grumpy old rapper efforts were, it seems, for naught.

As if “D.O.A” never meant anything (which, to be honest, it kinda didn’t about a nanosecond after first hearing it), T-Pain, one of the bigger faces of the “Auto-Tune” movement that’s suffocated the pop, R&B and rap music scenes in recent years, has polished off his BIG ASS CHAIN and begun his march back to ubiquity. Leaks from his forthcoming fourth album RevolveЯ have already started to surface all across the Web, but the tracks that will likely trigger more interest amongst the masses would have to be the couple of high-profile remix gigs found below that he’s smartly lined up to aid in creating buzz for his…guess you could say “comeback”.

The first re-pairs him with R&B kindred spirit of-sorts R. Kelly in a 2.0 take of what’s become Kellz biggest hit in two years, the currently chart-climbing “Number One”. And like their previous collaborations (the remixes to “Same Girl” and “I’m A Flirt”), it’s another memorable joint of the minds between the two modern soul freakazoids.

Featuring Keyshia Cole in place of Keri Hilson and dubbed a “remix for the clubs” despite the fact it bears the same slow groove tempo of the original, the song births plenty of great lyrical snippets to add to both men’s already very lengthy lists of awesomely WTF!! songwriting nuggets, from Pain’s “I’m-a put that BMI all over your ASCAP” to Kelly’s “Baby girl I guarantee once I get up in you/ I will make that pussy speak to me in Auto-Tune” making for what could best be described as robot-icized sex jam heaven!!

DL: “Number One (Remix)” (alt)

For his other remix appearance, T-Pain is inserted into a “re-configured for urban airplay” version of Shakira’s “She-Wolf” that ticks all the necessary boxes to realize it’s goal with it’s disco beat stifling, generic ’09 hip-pop production overhaul (listening to it, you nearly expect Flo-Rida to pop up with some corny club rap banter at some point).

Unnecessary? Totally, though some slight entertainment value can be found in Mr. Pend-Her-Ass-Down’s aping of Shakira’s vocal melody. But it did get us to thinking of how cool would it have been if he had found a way to bring his boy R. Kelly in here. Having the “R” in R&B spout out some naughty verse about a fanged seductress would have really brought this revamp to the next level.

DL: “She-Wolf (T-Pain Remix)” (alt)

DJ/ producer Sammy Bananas and singer Maggie Horn make up Telephoned, a duo out of New York whose sole gig apparently is to flip inescapable rap hits of recent memory into wicked, almost-unrecognizable clubby confections. But don’t dare label their efforts as “covers” or “remixes”, because, as their MySpace states, what the dual force are truly accomplishing is “(fashioning) a postmodern take on both”.

In their hands, Soulja Boy’s goofy anthem “Turn My Swag On” is transformed into a genre-blurring blob of cutesy pop, Southern rap spoofery and dubstep grime, with Horn committing the most precocious “Hopped up out of beeeeed…” wail we’ll probably ever hear and featured emcee, Ninjasonik’s Telli Federline, dishing out battle raps in support of “the average Joe who gotta work a job”.

Meanwhile, their excellent riff off of T-Pain’s ’08 slow jam “Can’t Believe It” simply consists of key elements of the original (that twinkly-eyed melody, that elongated “yeeee-ahh” hook/ ad-lib) sparsely sprinkled over one of those endlessly revolving 90′s-era party grooves.

Stay tuned to their MySpace, cause they plan to drop even more of these fantastic “non-cover” re-works in the future.

DL: “Turn My Swag On” (alt)

DL: “Can’t Believe It” (alt)

While it was sad to see Lil’ Kim get booted off of “Dancing With The Stars” a couple nights back, bringing an end to a surprisingly successful run, not too many tears are being shed from this corner of the “web-iverse”, since the elimination hopefully means she’ll now have the free time to start focusing on finally giving us the fifth album she’s pushed off for so long.

And by “album” we mean body of work that gives us the fierce-on-the-mic Lil’ Kim of the “Quiet Storm (Remix)”, not the lost-sounding rappress that’s been struggling at the music game comeback since her release from behind bars three years ago.

Though her current single “Download” lands as a capable summertime jam (mostly thanks to it’s lazy sampling of 80′s R&B fave “Computer Love” and another stellar vocal performance from the underappreciated Charlie Wilson), it’s just not the official re-introduction Kim (or the sadly dissipated female rap genre) needs right now. With it’s corny cyber-sex rhymes (“We goin’ back and forth, sendin’ e-mails/ He a thug, so i hit him on his Gmail/ His sense of humor got me writin’ L-O-L…”) and her trendy teeter-tottering from half-sung to provocative whisper raps, “Download” is third or fourth single material at best.

All we ask is that she take that inner-fire that made her a fan-favorite on the “Dancing” stage (or the same dedication she has towards plastic surgery) and somehow transport it to the pad and pen to give us something that will truly blow us away. Come on Kim, we know you got it in you.

Lil Kim Download Featuring Charlie Wilson & T – Pain Music Video

It may have taken an eternity but Keri Hilson‘s In A Perfect World finally managed to see the light of day thanks to it’s, what, eleventh pre-single/ video “Turnin’ Me On” being the one cut to trigger enough attention to become her first official solo smash. Yeah, it’s not exactly setting the music press world on fire, but, whatever, we’re just happy to see Hilson one step closer to becoming the top R&B diva she seemed destined to be years ago.

As with every other major R&B release these days though, World‘s endless tracklist reconfigurings resulted in several songs being left on the editing room floor…only to be “leaked” to the inter-webs in rapid time. One of those emerging casualties was “Hey Girl”, a T-Pain and Lil’ Jon-assisted ode to the drank that might not have been a perfect fit in Hilson’s final product, yet still deserves to be snatched up by somebody so it can get a proper club push.

A tad Pussycat Dolls-mimicking with it’s cheerleader chant elements and tabla-prominent backbeat, “Hey Girl” (a sort-of sister record to Jamie Foxx’ current jam “Blame It”) sees Keri once again pulling out the mannequin-esque monotone vocal to let the people know how she gets down when she hits the town. “I’m on Patron, tequila/ I’m drunk on Margaritas/…By the end of the night I’m-a have you so fucked up,” announces it’s winning hook.

Too bad we don’t know her, cause it seems like she would be the ideal tag-along when it comes to really painting the town red.

DL: “Hey Girl” (alt)

North Carolina singer-songwriter-producer Jake Troth lit up the blogosphere with one of the better of a zillion “Love Lockdown” remixes that we obsessively coveted during the last months of ’08. Hoping to continue some of that momentum as well as start building more interest into his own original material, Troth is not only kicking off the new year with a new six-song EP (entitled Might As Whale) but he’s also cooked up this cover of T-Pain’s “Chopped & Screwed” as a bonus offering.

A bit reminiscent of Hot Chip’s similarly sleepy take on “Sensual Seduction” last year, Troth turns “Screwed” from a herky-jerky R&B slow jam to a dreamy synthesized lullaby set over a rapid-paced drum beat somebody like Luke would have rapped all nasty over back in the good ol’ days.

What’s most interesting here is how sad Pain’s lyrics now sound in this context. In the original version, hearing the protagonist fumble so bad as a nightclub mack brought out mostly giggles. But under the shadings of Troth’s sublime melodics and sad-robot vocals, you can’t help but come away feeling nothing but the utmost pity for the player wanna-be. Hearing him whimper “Shorty don’t chop me”, you get the vibe that this cat may have nothing else to live for if he isn’t successful in wheeling the dimepiece back to his crib.

DL: “Chopped & Screwed (T-Pain Cover)” (alt)

Below, peep the Maestro’s favorite track from Whale, “Thanks For Coming With”. The acoustic ballad is a bit of a downer with end-of-life-focused lyrics like “If my mind should leave me soon/ And I can’t recall your name/ Please remind me everyday”, but for anyone who still believes in true love, the combination of it’s sparse melancholy and Troth’s tender script makes for one of the most touching love letters ever set to tape. Someone phone up Grey’s Anatomy and alert them to this understated gem, STAT! (Peep more of Whale over at Troth’s MySpace!!)

DL: “Thanks For Coming With” (alt)

Remember back when Amerie’s “1 Thing” was EVERYBODY’S favorite joint and how the teaming of that clattering drum loop, stabbing horn funk and Amerie’s piercing belt seemed to signal this exciting new turn for R&B. Well, while most producers/ remixers opted on trying to one-up it’s manic sound for the dancefloor, one cat, Siik, took the opposite route, transforming “1 Thing” into this buttery smooth concoction that seemed to just melt out the speakers, coming thisclose to bettering the original (pick it up here).

One of Siik’s more recent mash-up triumphs is this re-working of Kanye West’s ’07 party-starter “Good Life”. Like the Amerie joint, Silk aligns “Good Life” with another chilled-out groove (in this case, the instrumental from The Temprees’“Girl I Love You”, also referenced on Alicia Keys “Teenage Love Affair”) and the results are equally satisfactory. The summer season might still be a long ways off, but this is one that definitely should be saved for that next BBQ cookout.

DL: “Good Life (Siik Remix)” (alt)

Below, snatch up Siik’s remix of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”:

“Single Ladies (Siik Remix)” (alt)

Back in the day, you were damn near guaranteed something special everytime Busta Rhymes dropped a new record. His penchant for rousing hooks, otherworldly beatscapes built from obscure samples and kooky eye-popping music videos with multi-million dollar budgets awarded listeners with a slew of left-field bangers that still snatch up major props to this day. Unfortunately, as the years wore on, he seemed to lose some of that magic. His precious speedy flow remained intact and he could still pump out a hot chorus every once in awhile, but with the beats taking a sad turn towards the radio-friendly and his videos looking cheaper and cheaper (not to mention the image-tainting of numerous bouts with the law), what was once an extraordinary rap icon soon morphed into just another ordinary hip hop entity.

With the big bank bravado and drunk-friendly hysterics of new single “Arab Money” (a sort of companion piece to producer Ron Browz’ other Auto-Tune slathered current fave, “Pop Champagne”), Busta Rhymes had begun inching his way back onto the nightlife circuit; but the record was riddled with some major handicaps. Yeah, it carried the minimum requisite of song elements to conquer the dancefloor, but seeing as though any other rapper could have recorded it and came out with similar results, it definitely paled in comparison to the man’s heyday achievements. Even worse, “Money” held a hard-to-ignore offensive tinge in it’s make-up that drew head-scratching reactions from a lot of people.

But the promise of a career-reigniting track has proven too big a grab to let slip away, so Busta has opted to continue to push the record. What’s the obvious next step? An over-crowded remix featuring all the usual suspects so they don’t have to waste time rushing out their own bootlegged “freestyles” before the cut loses it’s heat.

Tardily attempting to appease the balkers, the remix sees Busta replacing the nonsensical hook of the original (one of the main sources of the controversy) with real Arabic words and the correct pronunciation of the word “Arab”, even getting his track-mates to pull out some authentic phrases on their own verses. It also serves the typical wealthy braggadocio of Diddy (“Bout to buy Dubai and swim in the shark section”), robo-voiced goofball antics of both halves of T-Wayne and an extended appearance by Browz (who has quickly leap-frogged over Pain, Weezy and Kanye as the worst artist ever to over-lean on the Auto-Tune).

Is it a solid enough addition within this Era of the Posse Cut Overkill? We’ll give it that. But revising a chorus and hiring on an A-list line-up probably won’t be enough to woo over those who despise the original, or just wish that Busta could stop fiddling around with all this sub-par material he’s been unleashing recently and really focus on figuring out a way to tap back into that mid-90′s appeal.

DL: “Arab Money (Remix)” (alt)

Believing, for some reason, that we just can’t get enough of T-Pain’s computerized croon and the term “shawty” isn’t the title of enough songs right now, Floridian rapper Plies employs the use of both on this naughty single, a sure fire summer sizzler by way of it’s conventional build.

If T-Pain’s chorus wasn’t so charming (“I can’t stand to see you treated bad/ I beat his ass for my shawty”) and the beat didn’t incorporate that easy listening R&B beat typical thug-in-love fare like this does, Plies’ rampant sex boasts wouldn’t be so easy to digest. T Pain alludes that this is a harmlessly cute song about rescuing a girl from a loser boyfriend on the hook, but Plies’ X-rated input follows a completly different trajectory. He spends two verses bragging about how his ‘shawty’ hasn’t been the same since she got a taste of “Lil’ Plies”.

With one stroke, she supposedly went from an awkward square to this dimepiece freak-of-the-week. “I taught her how to talk to me while she take pipe/…I gotta train her/ Now she suck me with ice,” he raps, so proud of the porn chick he’s helped create. What’s worse is that she’s morphed into this crotch addict, always in anticipation of their next session. Knowing this, he’ll cruelly fall off her radar only to pop up out of nowhere after days of no contact to give her what she needs.

Nevertheless, Plies packages it to radio just enough where you can love “Shawty” without being completely turned off by it’s subject matter. Somewhere, Bow Wow is wishing he had the balls to do this song with Ciara.